I asked Jerry to have \bThe Item\b master done by noon Thursday, thinking ahead to the long trip (about 7 hours), figuring itÆd be nice if we got in early and had a decent nightÆs sleep before the convention started in earnest. Opening ceremonies didnÆt start until Friday, so we would have plenty of time to set up.
The first indication of trouble was that Jerry didnÆt finish until 11PM Thursday. Only 11 hours late. \bLesson One: Never plan too far ahead where these guys are concerned.\b
Liz, Jess and I packed up the car while Shawn & Jerry were busy laying down the music. In order to fit four peopleÆs luggage and the equipment in my small car, I unpacked the spare tire. I didnÆt think twice about it, after all: what were the chances of blowing a tire? \bLesson Two : DonÆt tempt fate. SheÆll screw you every time.\b
At about 4PM, the boys dropped in for food and equipment and then went back to AR Design. They returned 7 hours later, finally having wrapped things up.
We were on the road by midnight. After much protesting by all, I did leave the spare tire behind. I placated my passengers by telling them that if anything should happen, IÆd take care of it. \bLesson Three: DonÆt make promises lightly.\b
We now had 9╜ hours to get to Los Angeles. Okay, so there wasnÆt going to be time to sleep, but there would be time to at least take a shower and freshen up before the ceremonies. Right? \bLesson Four: WRONG!!!\b
Around 2AM I got my first indication that all the forces of nature were against me. For no apparent reason the car began to swerve and I was fighting for control. When I finally managed to stop the car, my worst fears were confirmed. We had blown out a tire. \bLesson Five: Never say æI told you soÆ to a person who has just smegged up.\b
Recalling my earlier promise, I told Shawn, Jerry and Liz to stay with the car and sleep, IÆd get help. Liz, being the chivalrous friend that she is, decided to go with me. There was no way in hell she was going to let me hitch a ride by myself despite my martial arts background.
After about 10 minutes of walking, we were picked up by two non-English speaking gentlemen in a tractor trailer. Somehow, we managed to indicate to them that we needed to get to the next exit, and if they could just drop us offà? So, off we went. We were somewhere in the desert at this point. About 20 miles later, we saw an exit, and a sign for the Highway Patrol Station. Our prayers were answered, except that the driver didnÆt stop. Liz surreptitiously palmed a knife into my hand. The driver explained in broken English that there was a gas station about 10 miles ahead, and we could call for a tow truck there.
Eventually we were deposited at the 24 hour gas station as promised. We were now about 30 miles from my car and still about 5 hours from L.A. We called a 24 hour towing service and waited over an hour for him to pick us up. By the time we got back to the car, there was another tow truck there already, called in by the state trooper who happened upon the car 15 minutes after Liz and I left. (figures, eh?). I got rid of one of the tow trucks, and we were finally towed to Bakersfield, 50 miles south. The tow itself cost over $200, plus another $50 for the tire. \bLesson Six: Always travel with wealthy friends.\b
By now the sun was announcing itself with a brilliant pink sunrise. We stood outside in a group watching. It was a little after 5AM by now. The mechanic put the tire on the car, and once again we were on our way. We pulled into the convention centre at 9:20, and we had 10 minutes to get the tape to the AX-96 officials. Shawn & Jerry did it. DonÆt ask me how, at that point I was searching desperately for a bathroom.
